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 This may be the end for me...

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Zanblade
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Gender : Female
Kin/Therio type : Winged Neko
Age : 13
Location : United Kingdom
Job/hobbies : Swimming, Drawing and Badminton
Join date : 2018-04-15

Your Kin self Information Sheet
Name of your kin self : : Nyako
What is your kin type ? : Neko
Describe it Physically : :

PostSubject: This may be the end for me...   Sun Jul 15, 2018 3:24 pm

So recently I was starting to have symptoms of depression. And I was really struggling to keep myself under control as I was basically killing my strength and beliefs. I just randomly decided to stab myself in the heart (metaphorically lol) and it basically made me crumble back to base one.

I basically was just thinking how happy and grateful I am being in this pack until suddenly a dark thought came up to me and kind of shattered my mind. I suddenly doubted that I was a therein because I just felt like my awakening wasn't any proof of me being an otherkin. I've soul dived like setaru suggested and seen my true kin self (which is my winged neko), I've experienced tiny changes within 3 days when I started and I don't know why but my mind is rejecting all the evidence I have. Its all finding excuses to weigh down on me, its just really painful and I can't even sleep at night.

I saw a post made my silver which is a rant which talked about important stuff and I've seen it before. The first time I saw it it fuelled me with energy and I even had a full ph-shift...But this time I felt like the post was somehow adding onto my negative opinions. I questioned myself if I really was who my soul is (which doesn't even make sense) because before my awakening that lead me to this website I kind of spent my days watching anime and stuff like so. I just don't know if I'm leading myself to nowhere or do I really have a connection.

I jus don't know if my kin is just a figment of my imagination or not, and its making depressed cause one of my worst fears is to waste everybody's time. I don't wish to waste any one of you's time especially if I'm just acting like a moody pre-teen. I care about you all, and I just don't wish to waste anyone's time, emotions or anything on me. I just wish it isn't a phase or anything like so...And if things are turning towards the worst option...I'd like to say thank you to everyone. I appreciate it and this might be my final post...And I'm shaking with anxiety.

So uh yeah, I'm having a depressing time. And an entity was trying to manifest in me yesterday so things ain't looking good for me...It is so far successful on manipulating my fears and doubts. The main problem is this awakening doubt is switching off all my other hopes like becoming my true self. Its just hard when you're born different but your mind rejects it...i-I could just be a teen being inspired by stupid shows or I'm justing being something I'm not...ARGHH I JUST NEED TO SHUT UP.

So this may be a goodbye from me, and I wish you all luck :( I'm sorry you all, I've busted wasted my time once again. I'll just shut up...

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 '' If the world breaks, You are the one which will bring it TOGETHER.


There are many teachers. Some teach you to blend in and be 'normal' while others teach you to express yourself. Which one do YOU choose? ''

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Silver Black
Big Boss
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Gender : Female
Kin/Therio type : Naerubie ( celestial wolf guardian )
Age : 27
Location : Canada ( bu I am Russian )
Job/hobbies : Singing, Gaming, Cook at a Sweden restaurant ( but i prefer asian food ), drawing, swiming, dream shift
Join date : 2016-06-24

Your Kin self Information Sheet
Name of your kin self : :
What is your kin type ? :
Describe it Physically : :

PostSubject: Re: This may be the end for me...   Mon Jul 16, 2018 3:49 am

please dont go...im not gone. i was going through hell at my home.. :( i'm victim of psychological violence..... please dont leave us.
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Zanblade
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Gender : Female
Kin/Therio type : Winged Neko
Age : 13
Location : United Kingdom
Job/hobbies : Swimming, Drawing and Badminton
Join date : 2018-04-15

Your Kin self Information Sheet
Name of your kin self : : Nyako
What is your kin type ? : Neko
Describe it Physically : :

PostSubject: Re: This may be the end for me...   Mon Jul 16, 2018 12:28 pm

Silver Black wrote:
please dont go...im not gone. i was going through hell at my home.. :( i'm victim of psychological violence..... please dont leave us.
I’ll stay...OMFG the first time I read it I thought it said physical violence,my heart is missing still.

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 '' If the world breaks, You are the one which will bring it TOGETHER.


There are many teachers. Some teach you to blend in and be 'normal' while others teach you to express yourself. Which one do YOU choose? ''

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Nekoman
Personal Advisor
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Kin/Therio type : Neko (half cat)
Age : 21
Location : Utah (USA)
Job/hobbies : I'm good with animals.
Join date : 2016-07-03

PostSubject: Re: This may be the end for me...   Mon Jul 16, 2018 3:25 pm

I want to say something here, but experience tells me if I do it'll somehow make things worse.
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Zanblade
Admin
Admin
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Gender : Female
Kin/Therio type : Winged Neko
Age : 13
Location : United Kingdom
Job/hobbies : Swimming, Drawing and Badminton
Join date : 2018-04-15

Your Kin self Information Sheet
Name of your kin self : : Nyako
What is your kin type ? : Neko
Describe it Physically : :

PostSubject: Re: This may be the end for me...   Mon Jul 16, 2018 3:27 pm

Nekoman wrote:
I want to say something here, but experience tells me if I do it'll somehow make things worse.
well...it's your choice anyways though I'd still respect any opinions.

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 '' If the world breaks, You are the one which will bring it TOGETHER.


There are many teachers. Some teach you to blend in and be 'normal' while others teach you to express yourself. Which one do YOU choose? ''

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Silver Black
Big Boss
Big Boss
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Gender : Female
Kin/Therio type : Naerubie ( celestial wolf guardian )
Age : 27
Location : Canada ( bu I am Russian )
Job/hobbies : Singing, Gaming, Cook at a Sweden restaurant ( but i prefer asian food ), drawing, swiming, dream shift
Join date : 2016-06-24

Your Kin self Information Sheet
Name of your kin self : :
What is your kin type ? :
Describe it Physically : :

PostSubject: Re: This may be the end for me...   Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:54 pm

my life is a living fucking HELL right now. please keep the site active. i might be off for a while.

i'm so done with this fucken life.
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Jade

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Gender : Male
Kin/Therio type : Wolf
Age : 21
Location : Europe
Job/hobbies : Photography, art
Join date : 2018-06-24

Your Kin self Information Sheet
Name of your kin self : :
What is your kin type ? : Wolf; looks like the Alexander Archipelago subspecies.
Describe it Physically : : Dark pelt with a brown undertone; yellow-golden eyes

PostSubject: Re: This may be the end for me...   Tue Jul 17, 2018 5:58 am

I'm terribly sorry this is happening to you, as a depression victim, I have to say, it gets better. It may not seem like this, but don't give up, you should believe in your animalistic side and get through this dark time - I believe in you
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Cypress
Ancient Member
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Kin/Therio type : Otherkin
Age : 23
Location : Deep forest.
Job/hobbies : Stuff...
Join date : 2016-06-29

PostSubject: Re: This may be the end for me...   Sun Jul 22, 2018 2:18 am

I know I'm a little late to the party, but I just wanted to say that, being depressed is as much a part of being otherkin as it is being a teen. I can't tell you how many back and forths I had with myself before I came to terms with what I am. I had so many voices in my head tell me one thing or the other. It makes you doubt everything you think you know, but it does get better. It does make sense. It just doesn't right now, and that's okay. Please feel free to message me if you ever need someone to talk to, or even to rant at. I make a really good sounding board.

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Silver Black
Big Boss
Big Boss
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Gender : Female
Kin/Therio type : Naerubie ( celestial wolf guardian )
Age : 27
Location : Canada ( bu I am Russian )
Job/hobbies : Singing, Gaming, Cook at a Sweden restaurant ( but i prefer asian food ), drawing, swiming, dream shift
Join date : 2016-06-24

Your Kin self Information Sheet
Name of your kin self : :
What is your kin type ? :
Describe it Physically : :

PostSubject: Re: This may be the end for me...   Mon Jul 23, 2018 2:04 pm

I agree with everyone here.

I'm going through a depression at least once a year. its not easy .

but it always get better.

you just need someone who cares bout you to stick with you through all the hard times .

i hope we're doing that for you.
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Zanblade
Admin
Admin
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Gender : Female
Kin/Therio type : Winged Neko
Age : 13
Location : United Kingdom
Job/hobbies : Swimming, Drawing and Badminton
Join date : 2018-04-15

Your Kin self Information Sheet
Name of your kin self : : Nyako
What is your kin type ? : Neko
Describe it Physically : :

PostSubject: Re: This may be the end for me...   Tue Jul 24, 2018 10:53 am

Awww thanks everyone, I do feel more refreshed and positive. Of course because of all of you's :D its rare to have great friends like you all. So thanks, it means a lot to me...and i hope everyone's doing well :3

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 '' If the world breaks, You are the one which will bring it TOGETHER.


There are many teachers. Some teach you to blend in and be 'normal' while others teach you to express yourself. Which one do YOU choose? ''

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