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 Empathy or worse

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Kurokitsune

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Kin/Therio type : Kitsune-Lorian
Location : Florida
Job/hobbies : reading, drawing, watching funny video, music, gaming, discovering new things and the truth of the world around me, helping others, uncovering/solving mysteries, dreaming, shifting
Join date : 2017-01-15

PostSubject: Empathy or worse   Sat Jul 08, 2017 10:45 pm

Something about feelings, when someone says or think or feels something that isn't true my energy seems to become what that person believes and thinks....I have to imagine taking the energy out of my body to remove it and isolate the image as I have no other way to change it because simply being aware and answering with not knowing what is going on or what someone can mean, simply knowing I have nothing to do with the image whether I even hear it spoken or not doesn't change anything and it is so bad I can feel peoples energy from far away....the only thing I cannot isolate or get away form has been the constant pain of the person who has decided to stay inside my body...not a person though mind you just a entity that will not leave under any power I try to throw....I'm too weak to do anything at all.
Not being able to feel anything but such strong and uncomfortable feelings I don't even know or think and feel has been incredibly painful for me...I always feel the body of someone inside of me for a long time and it is like walking around in the real world but you carry someone on your back all day....try imagining doing that everyday.....would you physically be able to carry someone all day every day for months? years? how about the rest of your life? now imagine that weight of someone you carry plus their energy and feelings and even thoughts everyday too...
Not sure how people can imagine I exist at all but I do....
The back pain is one thing for sure....its really whole body pain.

So I'am trying to shift under these physical problems...I'am capable of actually feeling my body go through the motions of shifting like blood pressure and body changing in small ways...like the feeling of having something just under the surface when practicing...its like you can't give up on shifting if someone else shows you that pain doesn't get in the way of being able to...maybe I inspire people.....maybe I don't but....I never want to give up on my hope of someday being free...
I don't need to live in a place full of people that do not and cannot do something as simple as respect me. Someday I know I will have to run free and never be a part of the restraining and thoughtless human society and get back to you all when I do somehow and tell you all about my travels and journey and experiences....
For now I keep trying and practicing for that time...for that place where I will no longer thin abut what others are thinking and feeling of me but be free....for real, for good, for myself.

Think will power, strong, healthy, I keep going because I know I can.

Cheer me on and hope for my positive outcome in the future.
Will keep people updated on my shifting when things become more intense and real for me.
Will show pictures somehow when I do.
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