I think I just woke up.

[Agelio_The_Puma]

For years, I have seen "become your animal" "embrace your other side" "be your animal constantly" and I think ive always shrugged it off. Perhaps I thought what I was doing was good enough? Perhaps I thought I was already doing it? I dont know.

Its late, and Ive been scrolling around, reading some stuff, and found a rant made by Silver called "Stop that nonsense"

and oh god. I think I woke up from whatever I was alseep in. It changed quite a bit about my constant obstacles that constantly block me, doubts and things that have held me back since forever.

Ive been slacking, and its because of the expectations people have placed on me. It is my fault, im not just blaming other people mk- I feel so envious, honestly, of therians who have told their parents that they are animals, running around in public, posting videos and always being free and themselves. My identity feels so private, and yet I ache for the freedom to be who I am. I just want to stop hiding and be who I truly am. Who says I have to tell them I can shapeshift? Who says I have to make them believe I am physically an animal?

Did you know legislative has started to recognize therians? Calling them "speciesqueer". Its... honestly really exciting, but im also afraid for people who are being who they are, perfectly fine, and people's perceptions shift from "weird furry" to "speciesqueer, evil demon!" or something like that I dont know the mind of a hater.

All of this time, I really have been scared of telling people. Its been something that I have told to keep secret by my own community, and have been humiliated about for years by people I know. I think so many people who wrote "you will go to a mental asylum if you tell" has successfully suppressed a whole bunch of people believing they are completely alone. Making them believe no one will accept them, and have succeeded in scaring them badly.

Let me ask you. If you told someone, I am an animal, what can they do to you? As I said earlier, you dont have to tell them you can physically shift. You are NOT obligated to tell anyone what you do with your identity. And you cannot force people to believe you, or think of you in any sort of way.

When I was younger mmm... about a month or two into shapeshifting, I told my father I had something to tell him. So he sat me down, and asked me what it was. When my lips clamped up, and refused to tell him, he wouldnt let me leave until I told him. He forced it out of me, and it hurt me a lot. Ive been reflecting on that a lot recently. I think it has set me up on unstable, rocky ground with my own identity. It doesnt help either that my sibling would TORMENT me with it. She would go on and on about how i was delusional, crazy, furry, you name it, she said it. And it hurt, a lot, because she also was apart of it. She also wanted to be an animal. It felt like betrayal every single time, and it drew me away from my identity.

And perhaps thats what my journey has been about recently. Uncovering what has hurt me, healing it, and becoming connected again, back with my own self. I have isolated both sides of myself, and a lot of stuff has clogged inbetween both sides. I felt unsafe to be who I am, and because of that I hid it from everyone, including myself.

I want... I want to change that. I want to feel safe, and unleash myself anew. I never wanted to slack off, tell myself there was always later, allow myself to be pushed in by everything around me until I collapsed. I rememeber being afraid to even permanently mental shift, because I would be giving up my human life. Perhpas I was holding onto my humanity in case I would want to come back, and forget about it. Ive been a coward all of my life, did you know that? Shapeshifting has made me realize that yes, I am afraid of a lot of stuff. Ive just gotten really good at forgetting to feel afraid, although its still there.

The feeling of pressure, of losing people and getting hated on, is incredibly scary to my human brain. My animal side, those instincts and mentality? Tell me to do it, tell me to be free and if nothing works out? I can just leave. It wont matter in the future. But im not sure how that will ever happen. I dont want to give up my humanity, and be myself all of the time, because I like pretending. I like pretending that I belong. Who wouldnt?

But it still hurts, and I feel my resolve to keep trying to pretending starting to fray and snap. All I have to wonder now is, when will I be able to get out of this fantasy and allow myself to be me? How much longer before I sit up in my bed, and plant my feet on the floor? How much longer before I start to run towards who I am? I can just tell.

It wont be long, because I just woke up.

[Silver Black]

that was very interesting to read, thanks a lot. You show a lot of humanity and honesty in this post. I think most of us are a bit like you, scared and all. we all go through that and even today, 20 years later, i'm still terrified of all the things you mentionned. It's ok to be scared, but it doesn't have the right to stop you. being brave is when you are scared but going forward anyway ! YOU CAN DO THIS AGELIO. I BELIEVE IN YOU. 

Also, it's best that you get rid of people who don't believe in you, being alone sucks but its way better than feeling alone when surrounded...trust me. i always stood up to who i was, even in high school...in a private school for girls.. back then, the word therian mean nothing to anyone, i didn't even know what it was. i just knew i was '' part animal ''. at first it came out as a second personality but silver is real and she talked to me , i heard my name outloud and clear in the middle of the day, in a computer room and im far from being mentally ill nor hallucinating. it was hard to stand for myself, my friend betrayed me, the whole school learned and parents called at the school because their kids were scared of me without reason. i was just quiet, shy and my seraphim energy scared people away... then my mom betrayed my secret. when i told her i could transform, she freaked out and brought me to a mental institute with actual crazy people....while i wasnt. it traumatised me for a whole year, making me doubt again. i wasnt allowed to come out of there until i '' healed '' from my '' disease '' which wasn't one at all. I was actually the first case they knew back in my town. they were so fascinated ...they wanted me to help doing a conference but i refused and told em to f*ck off. boy i was mad. DO WE LOOK LIKE CIRCUS ANIMALS, DOC!? NO. we're not lab rats either so i'm glad you told me the humanity is evolving into acception therians in the queer spectrum. i'd rather like transpecies to be honest, but when i look to all the drama on tiktok around trans people and what being a woman really is, it just makes me happy no one here or in the therian community are being the ones bullied for their identity. technically, transgenders and people who identify as other genders have no physical proof of it, no one does. so what makes them more valid than we are ? absolutely nothing. like wtf. but at least people are now starting to be aware of our existence,its a plus. im honestly glad the quadrobic kids on tiktok took all the attention cause i didn't want any. what i am is private to me and  i love my secret life hehe. telling them our secret is like giving a dagger to a monkey, its obviously a bad idea. but,     hear me out.      some humans are actually awaken and intelligent, AND opened -minded to at least accept that some people are different and are ok to hear about this and stay respectful. people have a right to their opinion but the cleverest of them realise that this is not a choice we have, just like transgenders. its us, is all. 


And , Also, MMM i remember my old article post about doubts , it's old as duck. 


I need to make a new article refreshed and udpated. 



From what I see, you are struggling with the balance between being human and animal. But there is a huge misconception and i'm not sure what I wrote back there but being both is really important for your mental health to be ok. 


While I want to do a new video on that old article you read before, I do have something that can help you meanwhile to reach this goal so I hope this will help : 

direct Youtube link

[MoonMoon]

It's more in response of me sharing what my mind has gathered over time, and from being in the community for the length of time (off and on of course) that I have been:

Otherkin and Therians have always been on shaky ground in the public eye. The allusion drawn to transgender and the like has always been shot down due to there being proof from hormones and some other scientifically deduced reasons for people's minds to work as they have. However, when it comes to trans-species and equating this condition to others, people have usually accused Therians and Otherkin of attempting to hop a bandwagon of "established" and "real" conditions with their otherwise "nonsense" and the like.
Again though, this is what my experience has been through the ages. I do have an accepting mother of my condition from what things I've mentioned (along with mentioning a desire to figure out physical shifting), except all the same I feel like she plays it off as a joke sometimes, and my personal upbringing has caused great stress in terms of being encouraged to not share my own inner thoughts due to the opinion of others and what's acceptable and "normal". (Not just parents, but also bullies, even bullies just picking on completely normal or uncontrolled things.)

I'm thankful that the friend groups I've had throughout my life have been accepting and attempting to understand and learn, despite that the Therian and Otherkin groups I've met do shoot down the possibilities of physical shifting and expressed no desire to explore that avenue. I've constantly been back to square one myself when it came to finding like minded people, but again, at least my current friend group who does have a few transgender friends in it at least are also accepting that there's a possibility of me being someone that's essentially a trans-species as well. They don't understand fully, but they accept that all the same.

[Silver Black]

I'm glad they accept you, here you will always be accepted 100000)% we understand you because we are like you. also if it can bring you comfort, i've made some researches and its a bit complex but technically , there isn,t any physical proof of a female and male brain. they explained it fully in some videos so that makes us as valid as they are so far. 


but yeah, most of the therians and otherkins think  shapeshifting is bullshit since Blaze confessed his lies. 

[SallyThatGurl]

Hey Argelio, don`t feel so bad for that. How Silver told, it happens with all of us.
I told something to my mom, but only that I have a wolf spirit inside me. She believe it, when I am angry my face change, she told me that I look like a ferocious beast when I am anger.
The best way is keep the secret, the `normal`people always will see us as mad. After many years being judged for being different I`ve learn one thing that I am gonna share to you now:
Fuck off these people. Just don`t care about them, you know the truth and it is all.
I know it is hard, but day by day you`ll can do that. Keep your secrets for those asswholes, be glad for this community exists, because here we are equal, we think same things. Here is our sanctuary, our place to tell for people like us who we really are.

[Silver Black]

'' Fuck off these people. Just don`t care about them, you know the truth and it is all.
I know it is hard, but day by day you`ll can do that. Keep your secrets for those asswholes, be glad for this community exists, because here we are equal, we think same things. Here is our sanctuary, our place to tell for people like us who we really are. '' 

AMEN

( no religious allusion here, merely an expression lol) 

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