Emotional rant....

[Silver Black]

*breathes heavily then painful silence. 


* throws a chair across the room and get on four, shifting and roaring of rage, tears.


* burts into tears. 




LIFE IS NOT FAIR. 


WHY WHY WHY  !!!!!!


WHY CAN'T I JUST FOLLOW MY HEART


WHY DO I HAVE TO HURT SOMEONE IN THE WAY


 I DONT WANT TO


I JUST...




WANT TO BE HAPPY...




with him...


can't get rid of this obsession. 




he's there every fucking second of my life,in my head, my heart.  making my heart beat each bit of it. 


but he's thousand miles away

I can,t stop visualise the life we would have, 


the pack we would cherish,


the stares we could share


the songs we coul sing


the howlings 


the shifts


the eternal love


the perfect connection




but it can't be


not now. 




then he appears and offers to visit me. 




I can,t say no. 


I can,t




i want it as much as he wants. 




but i'm with someone else.
 


I feel stuck 




I have to hurt someone anyway. 




* cries

[Guest]

Just take things easy, you'll get through this alive and figure out what to do when the times right. Just don't wait too long to choose an answer. Sorry I wasn't online earlier I was asleep still but I'm awake now. Things will be okay, just takes time. Remember what we talked about through Skype. This kind of thing is difficult to deal with at times but, you'll make it. I know in the end, when time is right you will make the right choice. Once you make your choice, you may feel sad then for a while but be happy that you did it, that you got through this difficult time in your life and learn you must move on from there and look forward to the future then live in the hurting past.

[Guest]

"can't get rid of this obsession.




he's there every fucking second of my life,in my head, my heart. making my heart beat each bit of it.


but he's thousand miles away

I can,t stop visualise the life we would have,


the pack we would cherish,


the stares we could share


the songs we coul sing


the howlings


the shifts


the eternal love


the perfect connection"


I understand, although I do not love anyone else. That person is very important to me. It's as if he left a blue print on my life... He is also 9,247 km away so yeah... I am alone since the last time I saw him. All I can say is...

H.O.P.E.- hold on pain ends

[Nekoman]

I'm not sure if I should make a poor attempt to console you, or crack a joke about how your rant sounds like song lyrics.

[Silver Black]

My rant is not a song but i'll take it as a compliment ;) aha nice. :3 And thanks everyone for being there for me,. You're sooo sweet !

[Guest]

Look Silver,

I am not an expert with all this stuff but...

Ask yourself simple questions-

Which one makes you feel truly happy?

Which one do you actually LOVE. Like a soulmate.

Which one would accept and love you back?


I know it is a tough choice but you can't love 2 at the same time. For ex: You think you love someone but that love is not as strong. And if you won't figure out who do you really love, you'll screw someone's life. Here is what I mean:

While your mind and you thinks you love that person, and that person's mind thinks the same, you two are just wasting time. While you have "love" that doesn't feel as strong, that man's love of the life can pass up, and if it does he'll never be in real love, he'll be alone. Same can happen to you. While you think you love someone, you might end up in that unreal love. Your love of a lifetime will pass by and you'll be stuck with someone you THINK you love.

The choice is yours of course.

Sorry if it sounds confusing. I tried to do my best to brake this down.

Hope you'll find your soulmate and have a happy pack :)

[Guest]

And also,

you won't hurt anyone. In fact, you'll save them from passing the love of their life :) Don't put pressure on yourself, it's going to work out. Listen to your inner voice.

[ZhongShi]

A path always makes its way known, a door always presents itself...you may not think so at this time, but you will make the right choice, and when all this is over, you will look back and say, "I'm glad that it worked out the way it did"...
Meanwhile, there is pain...use it to grow and learn more about yourself, your life, your existence.
If there is anything else I can do for you, I'm here if you want...

[Silver Black]

Look Silver,

I am not an expert with all this stuff but...

Ask yourself simple questions-

Which one makes you feel truly happy?

Which one do you actually LOVE. Like a soulmate.

Which one would accept and love you back?


I know it is a tough choice but you can't love 2 at the same time. For ex: You think you love someone but that love is not as strong. And if you won't figure out who do you really love, you'll screw someone's life. Here is what I mean:

While your mind and you thinks you love that person, and that person's mind thinks the same, you two are just wasting time. While you have "love" that doesn't feel as strong, that man's love of the life can pass up, and if it does he'll never be in real love, he'll be alone. Same can happen to you. While you think you love someone, you might end up in that unreal love. Your love of a lifetime will pass by and you'll be stuck with someone you THINK you love.

The choice is yours of course.

Sorry if it sounds confusing. I tried to do my best to brake this down.

Hope you'll find your soulmate and have a happy pack :)

I chose David. Yeah, the David you know. He's my soulmate and I...really love him. He obsesses night and day. I met him on Silver Pack 1. He never left my sides and I discovered we had so much in common and he has everything I desire, what he has to offer, the way he is. I fell in love sooner than he even knows.


 He is supposed to come and visit me soon  in Quebec, Canada, from the Usa in Chibougamau. 


He intends to move there anyway. I have to live there anyway too, David or not. 


My mate, i love him too ...or think I do anyway, but I can't be myself with him and can't realize my dream to go to chibougamau and live there. 


I really have to make the right choice for me, not for anyone else.


I want to be with David and start a life I will finally enjoy. 


And maybe start a pure blood were pack. 




I love you David. With all my heart. 




Now I have to make myself a new life. Find a job, find an appartment that accept dogs and to put a break on my studies to help myself build a new life. I thought about moving to Chibougamau now and to be honest, I'm still thinking about it. 


I'm not sure what to do. I'm almost done with my car lessons so i'll have the freedom of driving myself to Chibougamau and find an appartment etc. 


I should stay here half a year and build myself a life in Chibougamau.


I crave to live there since almost 7 years now.


I must. 


go. 


there. 




David or not. 


And I know he will come too aha. 


Love you guies, you really are my family. 

[ZhongShi]

Love you back, Silver...you have my best wishes and I will do a circle for you...the candle is always lit for you and the pack.

[Silver Black]

Love you back, Silver...you have my best wishes and I will do a circle for you...the candle is always lit for you and the pack.

I want to cry. This is sooo cute <3 * hugs you so tight you can't breathe for 1 min. ahaha 


:3 the candle is a nice idea.


I wish we could all meet up in chibougamau and start that godamn otherkin village. 


<3 <3 <3 <3 * much love 



And yes. you can start a David/ Silver fandom if you want. 


* stares at 4wolfsake with a mother care stare. 

[ZhongShi]

The Pack has a leader, the leader has a mate OF HER CHOOSING...the Pack is right.

[Silver Black]

:3 *runs like crazy, flies up and hit a tree.   * dizzy face with birds flying around her head.


That's how I feel right now. Ahahha I feel as much hurt as I am happy....so weird.


But yeah,that feels totally right to me too. 


thank you <3 

[4Wolfsake]

And yes. you can start a David/ Silver fandom if you want. 


* stares at 4wolfsake with a mother care stare. 

momma Silvah!! I knew it xD.

I'm waiting for that village too :3 and I hope you can do anything that helps you to be more happy, I know you can do it! ^^
The best wishes for you :P

*hugs*

*pats Silver's head*

I remembered this image from Lykena:

[Guest]

And yes. you can start a David/ Silver fandom if you want. 


* stares at 4wolfsake with a mother care stare. 

momma Silvah!! I knew it xD.

I'm waiting for that village too :3 and I hope you can do anything that helps you to be more happy, I know you can do it! ^^
The best wishes for you :P

*hugs*

*pats Silver's head*

I remembered this image from Lykena:

Awwwww I am so glad you remembered it :D

[Silver Black]

awww :D so cute ahaha :D !!

[Kya Swiftpaw]

*Hugs Silver* You'll be fine we beleive in you!

Just, Take a moment to think of just Flexibility, Love and,Trust.

Take a moment to think of just, Flexibility, Love and, Trust

Here comes a thought, that might alarm you,
What someone said and how it harmed you,
Something you did, that failed to be charming,
Things that you said are, suddenly swarming.

And oh, you're losing sight, you're losing touch.
All these little things seem to matter so much.
That they confuse you, that I might lose you.

Take a moment remind yourself to, take a moment and find yourself.
Take a moment to ask yourself, if this is how we fall apart?

But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not.
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
You've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear.
I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.

Take a moment to think of just, Flexibility, Love, and Trust.
Take a moment to think of just, Flexibility, Love, and Trust.

[Nekoman]

*Hugs Silver* You'll be fine we beleive in you!

Just, Take a moment to think of just Flexibility, Love and,Trust.

Take a moment to think of just, Flexibility, Love and, Trust

Here comes a thought, that might alarm you,
What someone said and how it harmed you,
Something you did, that failed to be charming,
Things that you said are, suddenly swarming.

And oh, you're losing sight, you're losing touch.
All these little things seem to matter so much.
That they confuse you, that I might lose you.

Take a moment remind yourself to, take a moment and find yourself.
Take a moment to ask yourself, if this is how we fall apart?

But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not.
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
You've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear.
I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.

Take a moment to think of just, Flexibility, Love, and Trust.
Take a moment to think of just, Flexibility, Love, and Trust.

Nice. Steven universe is a great show.

If you want to listen to the song: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N74TTpzoG4g

[Silver Black]

Wow thanks Kya, this actually helped me a lot.  :)

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